


grammar lessons with sherlock and john

by dashcommaslash



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: BDSM, BDSM as safe reenactment of trauma, Birthday Sex, Bondage, Bruises, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, F/F, Freckles, Gags, Group Sex, Hound of the Baskervilles, Jealousy, John Watson Is Amazing, John Watson's Blog, Knives, M/M, Masturbation, Meta, Multi, Nipple Play, Nonmonogamous Relationship, OT3, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Painplay, Possessiveness, Restraints, Sex Club, Sharing, Sherlock at university, Situational Humiliation, Whipping, american vs. british english, apologies to pauline reage, apostrophes, assistants, bi men who like to be watched, comma-shaped birthmarks, commas, enhanced interrogation of a forensic pathologist, gagging, gang bang at 221b, gangbang at 221b, grammar, kidnapping role-play, lesbians who like gay porn, lesbians who like to watch gay men, lestrade's office, molly hooper does count, molly hooper's birthday party, neglect kink, one-way mirrors, past participles, pinwheels, possessive pronouns, recreating crime scenes, rent-boy roleplay, restrictive clauses, slight dark!John, slight dark!Sherlock, spelling, sub!Sherlock/top!John, surprise (but not dub-con) exhibitionism, top!Sherlock/sub!John, who vs. whom, who(m) vs. that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 04:50:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashcommaslash/pseuds/dashcommaslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are never too busy solving crimes and falling in love to teach grammar. In this series of meta-ficlets, John and Sherlock illustrate commonly confused grammar and spelling rules.</p><p>****<br/>"Its," with no apostrophe, is possessive, like "her" or "his." </p><p>Example: Sherlock and John like to protect their possessions from accidental damage, so before letting his mates shag Sherlock, John places the violin in its case, hangs the scarf on its peg, and locks the gun in its drawer.</p><p>(Inspired by airspaniel's "Lesson Learned")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. its vs. it's

If you are confusing “ **its** ” and “ **it’s** ,” John and Sherlock can help.

****

**Its** , with no apostrophe, is  **possessive** , like her or his. 

Example: Sherlock and John like to protect their  _possessions_  from accidental damage, so before letting his mates shag Sherlock, John places the violin in  **its** case, hangs the scarf on  **its**  peg, and locks the gun in  **its**  drawer. 

******

**It’s**  is a contraction for  **it is**.

Example: “ **It’s**  all fine,” said John, “by which I mean  **it is**  all fine. Moreover,  **it’s** time for my army buddies to shag you now, by which I mean  **it is**  time for them to shag you.”

**

That’s how things are. It's not possible to use the apostrophe unless you mean  **it is**. It’s tempting to think, “Oh, well,  **apostrophe s (’s)** is possessive for nouns, so I’ll just stick an apostrophe in there if I’m trying to be possessive.” No. That rule doesn’t apply to pronouns. You wouldn’t spell  **his**  as  **hi’s.** Don’t do it here, either.

One more thing. When do you use  ~~ **its’**~~? Never. 

 


	2. whose vs. who’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whose is possessive.
> 
> Example:  
> “Whose cock do you want first?” asked John.

**Whose**  is  **possessive**.

**Example:**

“ **Whose**  cock do you want first?” asked John.

Sherlock smirked. “ **Whose**  am I, John?” he asked.

“Right then,” said John, securing the handcuffs, “and then you’ll get the ones  **whose**  cocks you neglected last time. I’m not a despot, Sherlock, I want you to enjoy yourself, but I like to be proud of my  _possessions_.”

“Oh, John,” said Sherlock. “You’re the last man  **whose**  possessiveness would get in the way of my satisfaction.”

**

 **Who’s**  is a  **contraction**  for  **who is** , or sometimes for  **who has**.

**Example:**

“ **Who is** he?” Sherlock demanded, advancing on John.

“ **Who’s**  who?” asked John.

“ **Who’s**  the man  **who’s**  been with you?” said Sherlock slowly, sniffing John’s neck and arms. " **Who is**  the man  **who has**  been with you tonight? Understand?”

John displayed a bloody knuckle. “You mean  **who’s**  the guy this belongs to?”

“Oh, John,” said Sherlock happily. “Have you been hurting people for me again?  **Who’s**  the best boyfriend ever?”

**

This is actually the same rule as  **its**  and  **it’s**!  **Whose**  and  **its**  are both  **possessive** , while  **who’s**  and  **it’s**  are both  **contractions**.


	3. each other vs. one another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each other is used for two people only. One another is always used for three or more people.

**Each other**  is used for two people only.  **One another** is always used for three or more people. 

**Examples:**

In Berlin, John and Sherlock went undercover at a sex club where the lights were out and a million guys were sucking  **one another’s**  cocks in the dark. It wasn’t particularly hard to go undercover there.

“Was this what uni was like for you?” asked John. “You and Sebastian and Victor, sitting around and sucking  **each other’s**  pricks?”

“ **One another’s**  pricks, John.”

“What?”

“In a daisy chain, three or more men suck  **one another’s**  cocks. Everyone sucks another one’s cock. When two men are together, they suck  **each other’s**  cocks. Each one sucks the other’s cock. There is only one other cock to suck. That’s why we say ‘each other.’”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, John,” said Sherlock, pushing two fingers into John’s mouth. “Except when we were jerking **one another** off. And now you’re going to shut up and let me work, and in ten minutes I might need you to shoot someone, and then you and I are going back to the hotel and fucking **each other** , and only **each other** , until morning. Understand?”

John nodded. He sucked the fingers a bit deeper into his mouth and swallowed around them, letting Sherlock feel him gag. Sherlock smiled. So did John.

[](http://dashcommaslash.tumblr.com/post/28379042004/quick-grammar-lesson-with-sherlock-and-john-each-other)


	4. lead vs. led

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past tense of lead is led.

The past tense of  **lead**  is  **led.**

John Watson  **leads**  a dangerous, morally upright, and sexually submissive life. He also  **leads**  Sherlock Holmes around by the cock. Last night Sherlock Holmes  **led** him around on a dog leash, whipped him, and prevented him from barking. At Baskerville, this behavior counts as dangerous and morally upright as well as sexually submissive. 

***

It’s easy to think that the past tense of **lead** should also be spelled lead, because the past tense of **read** (which rhymes with **lead** ) is also spelled **read** (which rhymes with **led** ). This is an irregularity of the English language and not at all your fault.

 


	5. no one ever peaks anyone else's interest: a spelling interlude with Molly and Anthea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly and Anthea use Lestrade's office for a quick reminder about peek, peak, and pique.

Molly and Anthea would like to clear up some confusion about  **peek** ,  **peak** , and  **pique.**

*******

To  **peek**  is to look.

 **Example:**  Lestrade  **peeked**  into his office and saw that MI-5 was using it for enhanced interrogation of a forensic pathologist. 

***

A  **peak**  is a high point.

 **Example:**  Molly was a girl at her sexual  **peak**. Anthea twisted the red  **peaks**  of Molly’s nipples with one manicured hand, keeping her eyes and the other hand on her Blackberry.

***

Most importantly, to  **pique**  someone’s interest is to catch or spark it.  **No one ever, ever _peaks_  or  _peeks_  anyone’s interest. Ever.**

 **Example:**  Molly’s obvious neglect kink  **piqued**  Anthea’s interest. She was clearly the kind of woman who gets off on being fucked by someone who is simultaneously playing Angry Birds.


	6. lie, lay, lain vs. lay, laid, laid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is one that almost everyone mixes up.

Ok, here is one that almost everyone mixes up:  **lie, lay, lain**  vs.  **lay, laid, laid**.

(I’m going to use more grammar terminology than usual here, but don’t be scared if you’re not familiar with it—I will make clear what I mean. Please ask if you have any questions.)

**Lie**  is always  **intransitive** , meaning it  **takes no direct object** [see note]. In non-technical terms, that means simply that  **you can’t do it to something else**. You **lie down** , but you **don’t lie something else down**. The past tense of lie is  **lay** , and the past participle (the version that goes with has or had) is  **lain**.

**Example:**

Sherlock  **lies**  on his back on the bed, spread-eagled and ball-gagged, as John watches TV and absently pinches his nipples.

Yesterday, Sherlock  **lay**  on his stomach, wrists bound behind him, while John affectionately bit his back and used a pinwheel on his balls.

For months before meeting John, Sherlock had  **lain**  around at night jerking off to military porn.

***

**Lay**  is always  **transitive** , meaning it  **must take a direct object**. That simply means that  **you**   ** _don’t lay down_ , you lay something (an object) down**. The past tense is  **laid** , and the past participle is also  **laid**.

**Example:**

John  **lays**  the vibrator, nipple clamps, and choke chain neatly on the bed, then kneels on the floor.

Sherlock  **laid**  twenty-five pounds on the dresser after fucking John.

John had  **laid**  down two conditions for their first rent-boy scene: No photographs, and no absconding without payment in full.

***

Note: A  **direct object**  is simply the noun (person, idea, or thing) to which the verb (action) is directly done—for example, in “I hit the ball,” hit is the verb and **ball** is the **direct object**. There isn’t a direct object in every sentence. In “I laughed hysterically all day,” laughed is the verb and there is **no direct object**. In “I **lie** on the bed,” **lie** is the **verb** and there is **no direct object**. In “I **lay** the pillow on the bed,” **lay** is the **verb** and **pillow** is the **direct object**.

[](http://dashcommaslash.tumblr.com/post/28841096869/grammar-lesson-with-sherlock-and-john-lie-lay-lain)


	7. there’s never been anything between you and I: an interlude with Irene and Kate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a simple but frequently violated rule. Between you and me is correct. Between you and I is always incorrect.

Here’s a simple but frequently violated rule.  **Between you and me**  is  **correct**.  ** ~~Between you and I~~**  is  **always incorrect**.

Pronouns that are  **okay**  to use after “between”:  **me, you, her, him, hir, it, us, them**.

Pronouns that are  **not okay**  to use after “between”:  **I, she, ze, he, we, they**.

***

**Example:**

**Irene** : Just between us, darling, by which I mean  **between you and me** , I find that I can think so much better with three or four fingers inside you [twiddles fingers absent-mindedly]. You’d think it would be quite the opposite.

**Kate** : Mmmph.

Irene: This thing  **between you and me** , though, it gets so distracting at times. I feel like I need another assistant just to keep you busy. 

**Kate** : Mmmph.

**Irene** : In fact, I’ve lined up a few candidates. Pretty girls, but no one too dazzling. No one to come  **between you and me**. Just to…assist. Would you like that?

**Kate** : [nods]

**Irene** : Oh, darling, did I mention that this is a one-way mirror? [pulls out and undoes Kate’s gag] Nothing to spoil the lovely view  **between them and us**. Go and get dressed now, and then you can start the interviews. Be sure they can do figures and type and unzip with their teeth and don’t say things like “ ** ~~between you and I~~** ” and “ ** ~~between she and he.~~ “ **

*******

**Note:**  If you’re curious, the reason for this rule is that “ **between** ” is a  **preposition** , and so the pronouns that come after it are  **objects of the preposition**. So they must be object pronouns, not subject pronouns. You don’t have to understand this reason in order to follow the rule, but I will talk about it a bit more in further chapters.

[](http://dashcommaslash.tumblr.com/post/29551430959/theres-never-been-anything-between-you-and-i-a)


	8. some differences are regional: gotten vs. got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irene: Thanks for including us, boys. Kate and I have gotten ever so sick of the low quality of gay military porn.

**Irene** : Thanks for including us, Sherlock. Kate and I have  **gotten**  ever so sick of the low quality of gay military porn. Sometimes we just need the real thing, don’t we, darling?

 **Sherlock**  [fastening the O-ring gag on John’s mouth]: Yes, well, you can thank him, it wasn’t my birthday wish to invite you two. And don’t you dare talk once he starts. He might fancy being humiliated by lesbians, but it puts me off.

 **John** : [muffled protest]

 **Sherlock** : Good god, what is it now, John? [unfastens gag] Aren’t you comfortable? 

 **John** : Are you going to just let her say that?

 **Sherlock** : Say what? “The real thing”? I think the double entendre was ironic.

 **John** : No, you damn… **gotten**. You had my head the last time I said that. I’d never have  **got**  away with it.

 **Sherlock**  [refastening the gag]: Oh, right. No need to be concerned, Captain.  **Gotten**  is perfectly correct in American English.Did you know our Irene is actually American? Yes, she’s originally from New Jersey. To Americans,  **gotten**  is the past participle of  **get**. They say  **get, got, have/had gotten** , while we say  **get, got, have/had got**. American and British writers rarely think about this important regional difference when writing British and American characters respectively. But that was very patriotic of you, John, and I think you deserve a reward. [takes out cock] Now. Ready for the rest of your birthday present?


	9. style interlude: the problem with "said," according to sherlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is a bit of a dick about John's overuse of the word "said" as an adjective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not actually a dick. Also, I think "said" should be used as a verb ("I said," "you said") until the cows come home.

“Hey, you dick, those are just drafts. You can read them on the blog when I—shut up, shut up.”

“I don’t know what you mean, John,” said Sherlock innocently, holding back a smirk. “I was just looking for the—oh, look, there it is, the television remote!”

“Fine, out with it, then.” He bent over to see what Sherlock was reading.

_“Let’s do a kidnapping scene,” said Sherlock._

_“Okay,” said John to said flatmate. It was a bit close to home, of course, but what were friends for? “I guess you’d be doing said kidnapping?”_

_“Yes,” said said flatmate. “What I’d like to do is handcuff you to the bed, cut off your pants with a sharp knife, shove said pants in your mouth, and hold said knife to your throat while fucking you.”_

_Said mouth went dry._

“It’s nothing,” said Sherlock. “This is a good suggestion, actually. I’ll keep it in mind. And anyway, I’m sure this dialogue is  _intentionally_  comic?”

John glared at him.

“It’s just that word ‘said,’ you know. Because of its legal and clerical origins, dating back to Middle English, it’s generally used now for comic purposes, akin to punning or something. You could heighten the humor by substituting ‘aforementioned’ or ‘aforesaid,’ like ‘I shoved the aforementioned cock in the aforesaid mouth.’”

John glared some more.

“May I suggest a rewrite?”

John nodded almost imperceptibly. He looked a bit like a statue of a bulldog being tilted slightly.

_“Let’s do a kidnapping scene,” said Sherlock._

_“Okay,” said John. It was a bit close to home, of course, but what were friends for? “I guess you’d be doing the kidnapping?”_

_“Yes,” said Sherlock. “What I’d like to do is handcuff you to the bed, cut off your pants with a sharp knife, shove them in your mouth, and hold the knife to your throat while fucking you.”_

_John’s mouth went dry._

“That’s not actually a grammar correction,” said John, trying to sound casual but actually sounding like a statue of a bulldog being a bit strangled. “It’s style, which is a matter of personal preference.”

“I’m not  _correcting_  you, John,” said Sherlock. “You know I would never tell you what to do. When it comes to your fanfic, that is. And I want you to know that your fanfic gives me a great deal of pleasure. This is just my opinion about a certain meme in the fandom.”

“Oh, okay,” said John, looking at him like an aroused man who only looked a bit like a bulldog when he was angry. He closed his tumblr window. “I’ll get the kitchen knife, shall I?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” said Sherlock sweetly.


	10. might is the past tense of may

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another one that good writers often get confused about.
> 
> May, in the sense of being permitted to do something, is a present tense verb only.

**May** , in the sense of being permitted to do something, is a  **present tense verb only**.

**Example** :

“Kate, you  **may**  crawl to me on your hands and knees as long as you don’t disturb Sherlock and John. Keep your mouth open, darling. Yes, like that.”

**May**  can be used in other ways in the **present tense**.

**Example** :

Irene  **may**  have to twist Kate’s nipples quite hard when they get home. Kate  **may** scream particularly loudly. 

***

**Might** ,  _not_ **may** , is the  **past tense**  of may. 

**Example:**

Sherlock said that John  **might**  touch himself as long as he kept completely focused on Sherlock’s orgasm. If John’s rhythm slipped, said Sherlock, John **might**  not get to come at all. 

***

**Incorrect:**   ~~Sherlock said that John **may**  touch himself as long as he didn’t come~~.

***

**Note:** **May**  and  **might**  can both be used as present tense verbs, and it’s frequently preferable to use might instead of may in the present tense. That’s a whole separate issue, and I won’t be addressing it in this chapter, but [here’s](http://afterdeadline.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/14/may-might-muddle/) a decent summary. 

[](http://dashcommaslash.tumblr.com/post/30294121605/grammar-lesson-with-sherlock-john-irene-and-kate)


	11. no one is sat submissively on the floor at 221b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was sat” is a British regionalism that, while not actually standard English, is more or less okay in informal speech. Lestrade may use it, but Sherlock can't stand it. It doesn't exist in American English.

“I was sat” is a British regionalism that, while not actually standard English, is more or less okay in informal speech. It reads as totally wrong in US English. 

The correct form is “I was seated” or “I was sitting.”

**Example:**

When Lestrade followed Sherlock in, John was bound and kneeling by the bed, head bowed and shoulders back, in presentation posture.

“That’s how the victim was sat, yeah,” Lestrade said to Sherlock. “Tell me again what we’re going to do to him.”

“John is seated, not sat,” said Sherlock, unzipping his trousers. “And I thought we’d have a little fun before recreating the victim’s marks. For verisimilitude, you know.”

John shivered.


	12. a person is always (Dr., D.I., or Sherlock) who

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A person is always "who" (or "whom"), never "that." 
> 
> Example: "Who is fucking whom?

A person is always **who** (or **whom*** ), never ~~**that**~~. 

**Wrong:**  Of John Watson’s lovers, it’s Sherlock  **that**  most enjoys inflicting and receiving pain.

**Right:**  It’s Greg  **who**  enjoys predicament bondage, hair-pulling, and gags. John always wanted a man  **who**  could push his limits, and one  **whom**  he could push into that same abyss of choked, bound, submissive ecstasy. He got both.

****

*You use **whom** when the person you're referring to is the **object of a verb** (as in, "Who is fucking **whom**?"), or (putting it another way) when replacing **object pronouns** like me, her, him, us, or them (as in, "I fucked **them** every which way," said John nostalgically. Sherlock looked up from the computer. "Sorry, **whom** did you fuck? Sometimes my mind drifts a bit during these army stories").

 


	13. interlude with irene, kate, and molly: that vs. which

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her Highness paid through the nose for Irene’s services, which are well worth the expense. She then flaunted the marks that testified to Irene's attentions. 
> 
> By request, here is the rule about that and which.

Sometimes you need to use  **that** or  **which** when describing or modifying a thing or action.  **For example:**  Her Highness paid through the nose for Irene’s services **, which**  are well worth the expense. She then flaunted the marks  **that**  testified to Irene's attentions. 

Here is the rule.

******

When you need to specify which thing of many you’re talking about, you use  **that** and  _no comma_. This is called a  **restrictive clause**.

**Example:** Irene orders Molly to fetch the whip  **that**  Kate has chosen and to select the bondage mittens and leg irons  **that**  most restrict Kate’s movement.

Irene has many, many bondage items, so it’s necessary to specify which ones—“the bondage mittens and leg irons  **that**  most restrict Kate’s movement,” “the whip  **that**  Kate has chosen”—or poor Molly will be at a complete loss and will probably have to be punished for spending too much time in the kit closet.

**********

When it’s clear which thing you mean, you use a _comma_  and  **which**. This is called a  **nonrestrictive clause.**

**Example:** Molly admires Kate’s scarlet knickers **, which**  were a gift from Irene **.** Irene allows Molly to slide Kate’s knickers halfway down her thighs **, which**  Molly also admires **,** and to assist in the whipping **, which**  covers those thighs in scarlet stripes **.** Spreading Kate’s thighs for better access, Molly catches sight of a  _comma_ -shaped birthmark **, which**  she traces with her finger **.**

These nonrestrictive clauses are introduced with commas (and end with commas or other punctuation), and they aren’t necessary to the meaning of the sentence. We could go on without them and still cover all the main points:

Molly admires Kate’s scarlet knickers. Irene allows Molly to slide Kate’s knickers halfway down her thighs and to assist in the whipping. Spreading Kate’s thighs for better access, Molly catches sight of a comma-shaped birthmark **.**

The comma is necessary. Do not forget it.

******

**Note:**  With a possessive noun or pronoun (Molly’s/Sherlock’s/Mycroft’s/his/her/hir), you must use  **which**  instead of  **that**.

**Completely wrong:**  Molly’s sex appeal  **that**  she hid restlessly under lab coats was obvious to Irene.

**Right:**  Molly’s sex appeal **, which**  she hid restlessly under lab coats, was obvious to Irene. ( **Molly’s**  sex appeal was obvious to Irene.)


	14. molly hooper does count: amount vs. number, less vs. fewer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are countable (like freckles, bruises, breasts, neckties, orgasms, and gags). These things have number, not amount.
> 
> Other things are not countable (like milk, skin, come, loveliness, sugar, and surprise). These things have amount.

Some things are  **countable**  (like freckles, bruises, breasts, neckties, orgasms, and gags). These things have  **number** , not  ~~ **amount**.~~

Other things are not  **countable**  (like milk, skin, come, loveliness, sugar, and surprise). These things have  **amount**.

************

**Examples:**

**Wrong:**  Sherlock kissed an amazing  ~~ **amount**  of _frogs_~~  before meeting his prince. NEVER use “amount” with countables.

 **Right:**  Irene marveled at the large  **number**  of _freckles_ that covered such a small  **amount**  of Molly’s _skin_. She yearned to inflict an obscene  **number**  of _bruises_ on Molly’s milky flesh and to watch Greg and John cover her in an outrageous  **amount**  of _come_. 

********

Here is an important related rule: when discussing a number of countable items, you can use the words  **more** ,  **many,**   **few, and fewer.**  When discussing the amount of a non-countable quantity, you can use the words  **more** ,  **much, little and less**. This boils down to following a very simple rule: 

 **fewer**  countables,  **less**  non-countable

 **Examples** :

Molly had  **less**   _experience_  than Kate, so while Irene had enjoyed Kate's birthday blowout, she invited  **fewer**   _guests_  to Molly's party.  **Fewer**   _guests_  meant  **less**   _anxiety_  and  **fewer**  aching  _jaws_. It did not, however, mean  **fewer**   _orgasms_  or  _bruises_  for poor Molly. In the end, only John and Greg joined the women in wishing Molly a happy birthday. Sherlock stayed home, preferring an atmosphere of  **less** _femininity_ and _conviviality._


End file.
